Missing Maxwell Thurs. 10/6 10:37pm

Every night, as I lay in bed I listen to my itunes thru the laptop & view pictures of "our babies".. 123 (& growing daily w/new pixs) of Grace & Maxwell.  I see how much Grace has changed from the day she was born.  And I look at the pictures of Maxwell, and wonder what he would look like now.. how he would be filling out too; would he be over the apnea bump? How would his feedings be going?

For those of you, who have lost a child, do you think that God was trying to tell us that we could only maybe afford one?  Most of my stresses, like most people in any situation is financial, do you think God was trying to ease that for us?  I just don't understand any other reason to take Maxwell.. sure, the 'him becoming an angel' sounds good.. I'm not sure if I believe that 100% as I did.

I love seeing Gracie get bigger & stronger everyday.  I see a set of parents here at the RmCd house that are young themselves with twins.. a boy & a girl; born at 35 weeks.. the parents are young .. maybe 20, 21.. the mom just told me she has two other children, whom she doesn't have custody of.. and I just wonder..is God giving her a second chance with the twins? Even though she's really young?

Rest in Peace, my precious Maxwell (above) in utero.. when we found out he was a HE!  And to the right on the day he passed.


I hope I can continue to LIVE for Gracie & bring her home soon..