Winding Down & Letting Go... 11:21pm

I'm back.. Gary & I put Gracie down at 10 ish (she had been sleeping out in living room with us from about 8)..she had her eyes open today for a chunk of time too.

She loved her bathtime, we didn't use the baby 'sling' ..and she did great!!

Gary & I played a game of backgammon to ring out this old year, I..(of course)

remain the 2011 CHAMPION :) :)

And we talked a little about Maxwell.. he will never be forgotten.

I hope in the new year, we can have some time to maybe visit a grieving group for parents.  I don't know if it'll help much.. but maybe it will..just to get our feelings out with other parents, who have lost their babies.

We'll see!!

What are your hopes for the New Year?? 

Please share!!

For me, I hope to lose some weight & really commit to excercising weekly.

I hope that Gracie continues to be on the uphill with her health.. she is doing great.. I only wish & hope for the best for her.

I hope I can be the best advocate for Grace..

I've met quite a # of women on a preemie board that I belong to.. it's a great way to sound off about only things that 'preemie/NICU' Moms feel.. I hope to continue to build strong relationships there..

And I hope I can somehow do something in memory of Maxwell..

a 5k, a March of Dimes walk, a fundraiser.. something.  I hope God will show me the opportunity to really pay his memory forward..

I love you Maxwell. 

And I'm sorry that we had to go thru what we did..

But we have two Angels.. 2 Miracle Babies..
Both in our hearts forever..

One here on earth; and one in Heaven watching over all of us!!

Thank you!

End of Year.. TG!! 5:45pm

I put the time on my posts, because you never know when I might come back & write again in the same day/night :).  Tonight might be one of them...

Well, it's the end of 2011.. another year behind us.. new experiences learned, and for us

a new BABY to celebrate!!  We are having fun with Grace Lucia.. I'm having a ball taking a lot of pictures of her.  She's very photogenic. (is that sp correctly?)

 

 

 

This picture was taken on 8/5/11.. 2 days after she was born

And here she is today!!! :) WOW..  brings a tear to my eye..

This little Miracle baby is why I have become a crying baby mess.. and I don't want her to go thru anything else in her life, as traumatic as she has to live thru in the last 4 months of her being.  Today, we had a little scare.. I was changing her diaper, and from her g-tube there was blood.. of course, I got upset; Gary panicked.. but we figured it out that it was just granular tissue from around the g-tube.

Sure makes me motivated to get EI in here after the new year, to try bottle feeding. Geesh!! We got a quick call back from her wonderful GI doctor, and he said,

 'unfort, you might see a little blood'.. GREAT! NOT!!

I just want her to be okay..and not have to go thru anything else.. really!!

Other than that, we are having a quiet New Year's Eve.., as we do billing :)

& eat Chinese Food.  Gary & I will watch a movie later, and before that Gracie will have a tubby!! :) (bath!)

Many blessings to all my followers..for a wonderful, happy & the healthiest New Year.

Thank you for following and reading along about Gracie & our little family.

We are truly blessed!!

Thank you, God! The Pacella's will try for 10 a.m. church tomorrow morning & maybe a walk.. I hear it's going to be 50's out.. that's great!!

Be safe tonight!! I'm also beginning to be a worry wart..

Love to all,

pattie & gary, Gracie & Maxwell

Thanks Cousin Ayse & Noel!! 8:58pm

We got it..thanks to my cousin, Ayse & her husband Noel out in California..

& we have to get Grace back to getting used to it..but she will..

Yup.. a Mamaroo!!!!

We chose black, because the green one would remind us that we were still in the NICU.. black is nice & goes with everything.. :)

Thanks again cousin!! We appreciate it..and Gracie loves it!!

Come & visit anytime.. we hope to see you while you're doing business in Mass!!

Here's some random pictures from the last few days..

Daddy likes to take pictures when she's sleeping..here she is doing her nighttime pilates.  She's always moving her arms..

A few more from Christmas Day.. me & Gracie..we need to hold her up more like that..she does pretty well with her head.. and Uncle Bubbles & Lorraine holding Grace on Christmas afternoon.

We have been sharing our new trendy appetizer with people..you must try it..

Bacon wrapped dates!! :) delicious!! (& lots of fiber!!)

I did not have an early intervention appointment today, so it was a wasteful day to wear a bra.. LOL..   Auntie Lisa is stopping in tomorrow to visit with Ms. Grace, on her way to a hair appointment.

Thanks to the Almeida's in NH who sent some beautiful clothes for the baby..

Having a good time with Gracie.. need to go to bed soon..it is tiring :)

Love you guys,

pattie & gary, Gracie & max

Visitors. 9:19pm

Grace had a few visitors today..

Auntie Dalila was around & held her for a good hour or so..

and then Don & Linda & Jared came by.. Don held Gracie for a little while

& Linda dropped off some of her famous homemade Mac & Cheese.. it's delish!!

Thanks for the visits & the food!!!

Always nice to have visitors!  Interrupted the laundry.. oya! that's a good thing.

Today is Dr. Peter's birthday, one of our favorite neonatologists in Maine.. we wish him a VERY happy birthday.. and wish him well in the future!!

He's such a cutie.. & has a pediatric SOUL.. We are grateful for him!!

Thanks, Dr. Peter!!

Tomorrow, I think Grace & I will have visitors.. "I think"..

I've been so good about writing down & keeping track of appointments, but I forgot to write this one down.  It's a visit to our house..but I think it's 9:00 a.m., but I'm not sure..

I hate when that happens!!

It will definitely have to be a 'bra' day.. LOL!!

Tonight.. a visit from Auntie Paula..she loves to come over & hold Gracie.

Thanks, Paula!!

As Dr. Phil would say, "Say what you mean & mean what you say"..

Gotta go.. baby's going to bed & I'm right behind her!!

Love you guys,

pattie & gary, Gracie & maxwell

p.s.  A big SHOUT OUT to JOE!! Thanks for reading & keeping updated!!

After Christmas Tuesday.. 3:05pm

Hi, everyone!! Doesn't feel like a Tuesday does it??  Grace & I have been lucky to have Daddy home since Thursday.. & this morning we all got to sleep in.. but he's back to work now.. that's okay, 4 day work week!!

Guess Gracie's weight??????

Yes, she has reached the 8lb. mark..

actually... 8lbs. 6.5 oz!!!

Here we are Christmas morning!!

I went up on her feeding formula.. remember 30ml = 1oz..

so she went from 50 ml's during the day to 65ml's

& at night for her continous feed, she went from 25ml's to 30..

we see her GI Specialist next week, so he might even go up on the nighttime feeding.

She has done really well with the increase..and doesn't seem as hungry afterward as she was.  She's doing great!!!  We are very lucky!!

This week is a slow week.. next week we have ALOT of appointments that require extra prayers.. I know it's been awhile since I asked for your prayers.. but PLEASE keep us in your prayers.. we do have some important appointments around the corner.

I hope everyone had a blessed Christmas.

Please be careful on the roads.. I just read there was a fatal accident on 95S & yesterday there was one as well.. makes me nervous.. please, please

be cautious when driving!! It might not be you, but the other guy!!

Love,

pattie & gary, Gracie & max



Merry Christmas! 5:57pm

Merry Christmas to all our followers!! This is Grace's Christmas eve outfit, shirt says "my 1st Christmas"

Grace slept so well last night, we were all in bed by 9:00pm.. and she was only up twice for diaper changes.  Then this morning she slept til 10 a.m.!! What a nice Christmas present she gave us!! :)  Really, she is a good sleeping baby!

We gave her a bath this morning, then dressed her in her Christmas outfit!

Soo cute..  she was a little Ms. Claus

And she has slept most of the day!

Chuck & Lorraine came to visit this afternoon.. it was a very nice day!

Very relaxing, it's certainly good to be home!

We send lots of love to our friends, Sam & Jeneca (& baby Isabella) who are still in ME NICU.. I hope I find their email addresses soon, to check in! I woke up this morning & thanked God that we were home with our precious angel. And certainly said a prayer for all the mom & dads celebrating Christmas in the NICU!!!

We are grateful to be home because it's home.. and home is where our baby is..but if we were still in the NICU that would be our home.. sooo Merry Christmas preemie babies.. you'll be home soon..

Thanks to all the nurses, doctors & nnp's that work today taking care of all our preemie friends.  May God continue to work his magic thru you, and you to the babies.

To Maxwell:  Mommy & Daddy love you.. and we're sad you're not with us.  We know you are enjoying Christmas & all good things with loving family members!!

Thanks for keeping up with our blog.

May you have a blessed Christmas ...

Love,

The Pacella's

Gary, Pattie, Grace

& Maxwell

Catching Up 10:15pm

Gary & I are catching up on "Revenge".. any Revenge watchers out there?? Omg.. it is soo worth going back on xfinity & watching them from the get go.. good weekly show!!  So, before we continue the marathon, I thought I'd share my day.

It's been a wonderful day.  December 23, 2011.. I feel at peace, and I'm happy!

I have a family.  I'm a Mom! I have a very wonderful, willing, and great baby's daddy!!

We saw the pediatrician this morning & Grace took two immunization shots for her 4 months.  She did great. 

Grace is 7lbs. 15oz.  She's gained 20oz in two weeks, so we think it may be time to up her formula/feedings.. I have a call into her GI Specialist to confirm.  He's great, so I don't think it'll be a problem.  We also stopped in to see my ob/gyn.. HE is sooo awesome.  The girls in his office were so happy that I came by to show off Grace.  The ob was very happy to see us & happy to finally meet Grace.  He really has been a godsent thru this whole ordeal with us.  Since I was on bedrest, up until Grace came home he often called us & made sure he was available if we needed him.  What a wonderful doctor!! I'm glad we were able to stop in to see him.

We started to put Grace on the floor today.  A little back time on the floor & a few minutes on her tummy.  We will practice tummy time everyday to help build her neck muscles.  Here she is with Daddy reading her favorite books, "moo, ba, la la la" & "but not the hippotamus".. all the books we used to read to her everyday in the NICU.

Grace is doing so well on her oxygen as well.  She is still on a really small dose, and her #'s are great.. above 90 most of the time.. when she's sleeping they're always close to 100.  I see that weaning off her very soon.  After the new year, we will see a pulmonary specialist in Boston, who will help with the weaning.

Here's our evening feast.  Amaretto Sours, shrimp cocktail, and (the new 'trendy' appetizer) Bacon wrapped dates.  If you haven't tried them, you MUST!!  I will make some more for Christmas eve.

Well, it's coffee time & a few desserts.

Tomorrow, Gary has a few errands, and I will be doing some baking, with Grace in the kitchen watching... can't wait til she's a few years older & she can help!!

After many years of trying to conceive, I am happy that we ended up here..

with a beautiful baby girl.. no matter what it took to get here... I would do it again!

Thanks all.. Many wishes for a Merry Christmas to all of you!!

Love,

pattie & gary, Gracie & maxwell

Happy Birthday to me! 10:15pm

Hello..readers! Yes, Happy Birthday to Me! What a GREAT day!

I always consider my "new year" plans on my birthday, vs. on the last day of the year.  So, last night I started to think of all the nice people (some I know, most I don't) that have been so kind to my family & I in the last six months.  And all my good friends, and my family who have been and shown more support to us in the last few months, than ever before.. and in my 'new year' plan for myself.. I just want to

"pay it forward". 

And I hope God willing, I can do that.

It is my feeling and hope that someone will read this & it will bring them hope in their own situation.  I hope in this next year of my life, I can be the best mom to Grace.  The best wife to Gary, and the best friend to all of you who have really been my best friend.

I hope, whenever I can, to pay it forward. 

Whether it's kindness, a thought, a word, a hug, a cry, or a shoulder.. I hope I can be there for you!  And everyone else.

The experience that I have had in the last few months, has humbled me.  The direct and indirect kindness of people have really sparked something in me.  People have made me speechless at times; and made me cry (more than Gracie does!! lol).

Today, is no different.. after humming & hawing, I went for my pedicure & the salon owner (friend of mine), paid for my pedicure!  Thank you, Nicole!

We took Grace for a visit to Vevo & Vevo's house, and they gave us a gift card for groceries.  It just came at the right time, and was very unexpected.  My parents have been a Godsent to us in the last few months, I hope they know how much we appreciate them.

My very good friend, Paula, babysat Gracie while Gary & I went to Pasta House for dinner; and then got some grocery shopping done.  Thank You, Paula.

The best time today, was walking down the street pushing Grace in a stroller around 4pm..it was 56 degrees out, the view of the beach in front of so beautiful,

and the feeling of 'surreal' for Gary & I..as we watched Gracie just enjoy being outdoors.   Pushing a baby in a stroller and going for a walk is something we've always talked about..and today we got to do it..with our baby!!  What a beautiful present that was!!

Our friend, Linda stopped by and held Grace for a little bit..

Awee..  Thanks for the champagne, Linda! :)

Tomorrow is a regular pediatrician appointment.. with a weight! I'll keep you all posted..I'm going to guess 7lbs. 16oz.. but we'll see!!

Hope the beautiful weather sticks around.. I don't need no 'stinkin' snow! :)

And my baby & I can do a walk a day!!

Well, this girl gets the right side of the bed tonight.. Daddy's going to do the wake up diaper changes.. Yea! Think I might get suckered into at least one.. but that's okay.. these are the days we've been hoping for.. for years!!

Thank YOU all.. for the wonderful birthday wishes..

I had a wonderful day!!

Love,

pattie & gary & Gracie & maxwell

11:14pm..P.S.  I just remembered, I was in CVS/Fhvn today & this lady asked if I was Gracie's mom.. she introduced herself and said she'd be following my blog & Grace's progress..and was happy to hear she was home.  Thanks!! Merry Christmas!

Pay it forward. 9:40pm

Grace is 7lbs. 14oz.  She is due for another follow up with the pedi on Friday, so we hope to see that weight increase.  I think she is starting to feel hungrier, so hopefully between him & the GI specialist in a week or so, we will be able to increase her volume.

Early intervention came to 'assess' her today.  She was very sleepy, as she was just waking up..but she did pretty good.  After the holidays, we'll be starting with an OT (occupational therapist) & a Speech therapist (basically to help with bottle feedings)

She's definitely keeping her eyes open more & more each day.

And she has Daddy wrapped!!  He can't do anything else when he gets home, then to hold her, because "she won't let me put her down"..

I put 'pay it forward' as my title, because as I begin to think of all that has been paid forward to me in this past year, from strangers & long time friends, I remind myself to pay it forward to others.  I was in a store tonight & the guy in front of me needed a dollar.  I didn't hesitate, I pulled out a dollar and gave it to the cashier for him.  He was so grateful, he looked at me like I was a fruitcake (lol), but grateful that I could help him, or actually that I wanted to help him. 

I am very grateful that Grace is in our lives.. a year ago, we were mourning the death of our first baby in a miscarriage.  This year, we are mourning the death of infant, Maxwell..but we are also PRAISING GOD for the MIRACLE of Grace Lucia!!

Pay It forward this Christmas Season!!

Love,

pattie & gary, Gracie & max

Church. 9:09pm

Hello! It's another Monday. We've been home 2 weeks today! It feels much longer.. but I'm still missing my peeps up in Maine..especially, Sara! Sara is a minister with her husband at Gateway Methodist Church in Portland; and she was a wonderful friend to me while I was in Maine.  Her & her husband, Allen came to visit from the day we were there on bed rest; and Sara continued to visit Gracie & I from August 3rd on.

So, "HI" Sara!! "Hope the kids are eating their vegetables!!"

I went to my church tonight for a conference meeting for 2012.  Half way thru the meeting, I realized the last time I sat in this chapel was August 7th (Maxwell's services).

I know I don't talk about it much, what's there to talk about really?

Maxwell was a loved baby! He was a joy in our life for the four days he was here.

I know there has been some questions to my husband how I'm doing 'mourning' Maxwell.  I'm not sure I have, to be honest.  It's when I'm put in situations, like tonight, that I actually think back to Maxwell & it's all too surreal for me.  All too surreal to even make a dent into 'mourning' him.. but I'm doing okay. Really.

I was looking at old ultrasound pictures the other day, and saw Baby B pictures.  I remember the joy & happiness I felt when we found out we were having twins!  Being a twin, I always wanted twins.  And now, I have them..but one is a guardian angel. 

I don't know.  I guess I just always feel as a Mom, I need to put 150% into Grace at all times.. although I think of Max everyday, and miss him, Grace is my life right now.

And she's doing GREAT!!  Slept last night really well.. every two hours up for a diaper change, but then right back to sleep.  Then this morning, Daddy let Gracie & I slept for a stretch of four hours... that was nice!!

Tomorrow is weigh in day, as Gracie's nurse will be here. 

 Hopefully the synergis shot will be here before she gets here.

What is everyone's plans for Christmas??

Love you all,

pattie & gary, Gracie & max

Sunday. 8:20pm

Hi, everyone! Gracie is doing great.  And family life is better as Gary & I work thru communicating better our needs in this new stage of our lives within our new roles as Mom & Dad, and for each other.  It just takes good communication..and unlike some relationships previous to ours, we like each other & can talk to each other!!

We had a busy Sunday afternoon, as Vevo & Vovo came by for lunch with Andrew.  Vevo got to hold Grace for awhile, while she slept.  Then Auntie Lisa & Auntie Theresa came down for dinner & chinese.  It was Auntie Lisa's first meeting with Gracie.  Again, Grace slept :).

She really is a good baby.  She woke last night every two hours for a diaper change.  The prune juice is working.  YEA!!

Peter & Paula stopped in for a visit too..here's Peter holding her.

She was awake a little while with Peter.. She's getting so big, getting ready for Tuesday when VNA is here & weighs her.  We have the nurse coming twice this week, and the early intervention team coming in on Wed. to assess her.  It'll be good to start working with OT & Speech, for bottle feeding.

Here's our 6' mini fake tree.. We usually get a real tree, this year, this will do.

Thanks to Paula & Peter for the beautiful "grace" ornaments.

Hope you have your Christmas shopping done..almost done here.

Going to watch Survivor, season finale.. and then BED!!

My baby at rest!

Love you guys,

pattie & gary, Gracie & max



rough day. 2:20pm

Gracie is 136 days old.  Weighing in at 7lbs. 13oz!!

I got to sleep last night, Thank you Gary! He slept on "Gracie's" side, and woke up with her a few times from 11-5, I was up just a little, and then at 5:30 to change her.. so I felt good when I woke up at 7:30, to start the 8 o'clock feeding.  I was able to go run a few errands for an hour, while Daddy & Gracie napped.  I was feeling good.  Ran into old friends & showed them pictures... I like being up & productive.

Then I got back home.  VNA (visiting nurse) finally came today at 10.. & she was the one that got Gracie's weight..she's closer to that 8lbs!!  Gracie is 'wheezing' a little bit.. so we decided to take her into the pedi.  Also her synergis shot was due this week, and there was some major miscommunication between the case manager at VNA & us to have it ordered & delivered to us!! (So, FYI.. you need to get the synergis shot sent to you at home, so vna can administer it.. NO ONE told us that.. we thought they were coming with it... soo now, it's going to be late..but our pedi assured us it's due '1x mo', so it's ok to be late. Ok!!)

Pedi said that she looked okay.. her lungs were moving the air in/out, like there suppossed to.  So, just keep her elevated & assured me/us that we're doing a good job.  I felt like he was talking directly to me, because I do feel like I do most of the taking care of.. Daddy is GREAT with Grace.. I'm just not feeling supported as a wife/mother from him..does that make sense?

Here she is!!

The good things today, is that I got a few things done this morning.  A few things done around the house & into the basement.  We have a good VNA.. yea!!

And, I'm going out with a friend for dinner & a little shopping later.. I'm looking forward to just getting out!

I'm also glad that my friend, Heather is back in town!!

That's my story!

Love you guys,

pattie & gary, Gracie & maxwell



Numbers! 4:01pm

I'm thankful for my daughter, Grace being home now 11 days!! Wow..  as much as we thought these days would never come, we always knew they would. 

I'm also thankful for madrinha Dalila that stopped by today, to give Gracie girl a manicure..not a minute too soon, she scratched her cheek today..and caused blood! For a little scratch, she had alot of blood on her white onesie..geesh! Now, after her manicure & her hand in her onesies, she will not be able to touch her face.

So the countdown is on 10 days til Christmas! How do you feel about Christmas?

The only thing I truly want to do this Christmas is to personally Thank God for giving us our miracle.  I want to attend worship service at our church, I'm just not sure if that's feesible.  I want to take Gracie with us.. but Gary's not sure he even wants to go.  He's still so mad at God, regarding Maxwell.. and trust me I'm sad too, that's why I don't talk about it much.  But I believe it's my faith, that has made me strong thru this whole ordeal.

Gary & I had decided a few months ago, not to get each other anything.. just being together home with our daughter is present enough.  I only need to get a couple of gift cards for our families.. my extent of my shopping.

Gracie had a tough night of sleeping last night..she was awake from 1-5a.m...

No one said it was going to be easy, that's for sure! I don't know how these 'young' people (like in their teens) have children.. I know I'm tired, and I have felt sometimes frustrations when she cries in the middle of the night & I can't console her.  I would like to be able to walk around the house with her to console her, but we can't without dragging 3 pieces of equipment.  The equipment part of her being home, sucks! 

Her oxgen #'s are pretty good though.. she's sleeping as I write this..and she's at 100% o2 level & 138 heartrate..

Listening to my itunes in the background..and just chilling.  Trying not to stress about anything.. easier said than done!

Visiting nurse is coming in tomorrow..finally!  That's a story in itself.

EI intake came this afternoon, a team of 4 assessors will be out within the next 2 weeks, would really like to get started on pt, ot, & speech (for bottle feeding).

Feel busier now, than I ever have..even when I'm just sitting here writing!

Thanks to mom who brought us meatloaf for dinner tonight.

Sweet Pea is awakening..must go chat with her.. about sleeping tonight :)

Love you guys,

pattie & gary, Gracie & max

p.s.  Do you know what tonight is... come on..it's the 15th!!

(billing!!!)..arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Wed. Update 5:03pm

Gracie had a great sleep last night..she is up every couple of hours for a diaper change.. but we are getting 2-3 hours stretches of sleep..ahhh :)  Hope it keeps up!

Today, we had our GI appointment.. Very NICE doctor.. he was very informative with us, and caring.  He didn't like that around Grace's feeding g-tube is very red, so gave us some antibiotics to start for 10 days.. as well as some cream to put around the site.

He inflated the tube (there's a small balloon filled with .5ml's of water in the belly, that 'anchors' down the tube)..so he inflated with another 1cc/ml of water to help keep the tube anchored down.

Gracie did great in the car & at the doctor's office.

Here she is when we got home.. I know it's a dark picture..sorry!  I promise some more pictures by the weekend.. I don't even have time to take pictures!!

I think someone forgot to tell me that the first few months, maybe a year (set me straight please)..is TOUGH on a marriage.  It seems like we can't communicate..

Now, that I'm home, I feel because I missed out on the "nesting" part of the pregnancy I need to do it now... and when I say I literally am cleaning up from 4 months of being gone, I truly mean it.  I'm not worried about what the house looks like, but come on.. the clothes that haven't been put away in a week??  I am not a neat freak at all.. but I do like 'organization'..and I don't like that I didn't get the opportunity to get organized.. so between feeding Grace every 3 hours, diaper changes, dishes, laundry, and unpacking from 4 months..I would like to get this house somewhat organized. 

I need a night out with the girls.. any takers?????

Love you guys.. thanks for reading still..

love,

pattie & gary, Gracie & max

p.s. "HI" to my Maine friends :)

Full moon was Saturday. 9:12pm

I think we all get a little affected with the full moon.  Gracie had a tough night last night, she was up alot.. which means I didn't get much sleep at all.  I woke up very tired.  Daddy has a 'cold'.. so he didn't wake up much.. I think someone (Ross!!) didn't give him the memo about you can't be sick, when you have a newborn!!

Mommy's can't be sick, so neither can anyone else.

Routine & schedule is going well.. just can't wait for Wednesday's G.I. appointment.. ironically, it's with a doctor that my good friend's mom knew quite well.. it's ironic how things come around.. & Madrinha Dalila knows him as well.. I can't wait to meet him.

Her g-tube for feeds has been leaking.. it's obviously working because she's gaining weight.. I just worry!

Waiting for early intervention (EI) to get in here as well.. so speech can help me with some bottle feeds.  When we were in Maine, the feeding team changed the bottle feeding the weekend before we left & said she may be 'micro-aspirating'..so that makes me nervous too.  Geesh! I'm a mom..I'm a worrier!

Okay.. I don't sleep when she sleeps, because there's way too much to do in this house.  I just vacuumed.  So tomorrow, I just need to find some room for stuff. 

But I am going to bed now.. 9:17pm.. it's early..but hopefully I'll get a few good hours in.

Have fun in NY.. Heather & Mady..we'll miss your visits!

Love you,

pattie & gary, Gracie & max

Bathtime & Books 8:40pm

Nothing like giving Gracie a bath at home.. she did well...

I really am enjoying having her home..and getting my stuff organized for her..

She is truly a gift.. a miracle!!

Gracie met my good friend, Dave..who came by for a quick view..he said the pictures show that she's soo big, but she is still a peanut! :)  To us, because we've really seen her as a peanut..she looks bigger everyday..

Here's some of her 1st Bath pictures..

And then just resting after bathtime!!

We put Gracie to bed, and will soon be there right after her..  there's a few cute movies on during the Christmas season.. we are watching "Fred Claus"..cute movie! 

Love you guys!!! More than you will know..

pattie & gary, Gracie & max

Poor Gracie 11:55a.m.

Poor Gracie, has Mommy's GI issues.. hope that goes away soon.

Last night was a horrible night for sleep.. don't think there was any had in this household.

Gracie went down at her usual 9pm (after her 8 o'clock feeding), but was up hourly after that..really just turning red, pushing & what seemed like 'gagging'..

She is definitely constipated.. soo a quick doctor's visit this morning & he said everything 'sounds' good.. maybe just give her prune juice daily to help regulate a little better.

Here she is.. the good thing about going to the doctors is getting her weight..

Gracie is 7lbs. 8oz!! Wow.. growing like a weed..

We have a GI doc appointment this week.. looking forward to that appointment

Hope to give Gracie a bath tonight..

Hoping Mommy & Daddy can take a nap this afternoon too.. I think it's going to be a slowwww Saturday afternoon.. that's good.. nothing else to do but love our little miracle!

This is Auntie Heather's first time holding Gracie..

She has been such a GREAT Auntie!!! Thanks for ALL your help!

And Thanks to Shannon for the Shephard's pie for dinner last night..yummy! and leftovers.

Thanks everyone..

Miss my NICU family!! (They're not done with us yet, Gary called & talked to one of the neo natalogists last night at midnight.. )  They are soo good to us & I really miss everyone up in Maine!!

Love you guys,

pattie & gary, Gracie & maxwell

Home is good! 4:04pm

Hey there.. got my rock n play swing yesterday & we put it together, Grace spent some time in it today..and the swing that Heather brought over for her to use..she loves it!

Here are some pictures of her first few days home.. she is thriving & growing..

& I am busy trying to get the house in some order... and having a few visitors.  It's been nice, but you don't really sleep when they do, do you?? lol

Thank God for Grace!! She has been sleeping thru the night, with just a few wake-ups for diaper changes.. like I said previously, her monitor goes off more than she startles awake.

It's GREAT to be home!

I do miss 'my peeps'.. in Maine.. :) love you guys!!

Grace does not like her arms covered.. in swing, bed or other.. she likes to have free range ..  here she is in her crib at home..she has slept in it twice.

She's definitely growing..she sleeps & eats!

This is from today.. December 8th.. Grace is being held by her madrinha, Dalila.

Auntie Tess visited today as well..

and  Auntie Heather (TG for her)

Mooahh!! :)

Thanks everyone for reading! We have a GI Specialist appointment next week..then go to Children's Hospital for a few specialist appointments, just for follow ups in early January!

Hope it doesn't snow!! :)

Love,

pattie & gary, Gracie & max

p.s. Daddy has been great with her.. he does the 11 o'clock feeding, I'm usually sleeping.. or shutting off the alarm.. he is a wonderful Dad..

Tired. 7:56pm

Hey, gang.. I'm not forgetting about you.. just tired! :) Many of you know what I'm feeling.. this Mom thing full time is tiring.  But our little family, is working it out & Gary has been great.. we both sorta share the responsibility of waking up in the night if Gracie does.  The last two nights have been good.. she does sleep thru the night quite well, except her 02 monitor goes off with every little move..and it's very annoying!!

Sleeping & eating.. like all babies!!

Last night, our friend, Paula came by for a visit..and actually stayed with Gracie while we did a quick shop at Walmart.. getting those organization things.. the house seems to be looking a bit better. 

Grace sleeps in the pack n play at night, and in the past two days she has slept in her crib in the morning.  She also has a swing (thanks to Heather), and a vibrating thingy.. today some things from Target came..among them a "rock n play"..can't wait til she can get in there tomorrow.

Our 1st road trip, since coming home.. to the Pediatrican's office.. and Gracie

is 7lbs. 3oz!!!!! Wow!! She is getting soo big!

She is a great little baby.. hardly cries.. and she's soo cute!

We are both definitely tired..  that's a good complaint anyway!!

I miss MMC ..but I'm glad to be home!!

Love you guys,

pattie & gary, Gracie & max

First night went great!! 12:46pm

Hi, all!! Gracie is adapting great at home.. Other than the ride home & feeding times being interuppted, she did okay.  And we were able to resume her normal feeding times today.

I know I should have pictures ready to post, but I don't.  Just wanted to give everyone a quick update.. she was only awake from 11-6 twice & that was for poopy diapers.

This morning, around 6:30, she woke up for a little & then fell back to sleep til 7:45a.m.

She's just such a blessing!! It still feels a little surreal.  Last night, when we first got home I was extremely overwhelmed & felt like I really need to get everything done..LAST NIGHT.. things put away & in a 'place'.. but after cuddling with Gracie for a bit.. I've letting go of that.

Today, we are just hanging out the two of us this morning & Daddy went to work.. he'll be back by 1:00ish for the afternoon. 

Vevo & Vevoo visited & I took pictures of both holding her..with her eyes wide opened.

It's been a great day!

I'm cooking PORK CHOPS tonight for dinner..(for you Kelly)

 praying Will goes home today..

I'll post pics later..

Love,

pattie & gary, Gracie & max

We are home!! 9:53pm

We are home!! It feels great to have all 3 of us under the same roof.. I was a little nervous & overwhelmed when we first arrived (about 3:30pm).. just trying to get the pumps and feedings & oxygen organized.  The pumps make a LOT of noise.. so we might be up a little more tonight..but hope to get into our own little 'groove.'

Here's Gracie's going home outfit:

Rock Princess.. (for Will :) who will hopefully go home tomorrow!! We miss you guys!!

And this is our favorite Neo natalogist, "Uncle" Dr. Peter ..

Everyone was so excited to see us go.. and were given kisses to Gracie.  Since we've been home, Gracie has slept in her crib for about an hour & each one of our arms too.

Heather & Mady stopped by with some plastic containers to keep all our stuff.  Thanks to Heather we have groceries for the week.  And to Paula for cleaning up a little around here.. a good dusting & vacuuming too... if you could only see it now Paula.. arghhh..

Well, I am tired.. & I think it's going to be a long night..

Wish us luck!!

Thanks for all the well wishes.. I'll keep you all posted..

Love,

pattie & gary, Gracie & max



Thank You to MMC 4:53a.m.

My alarm is set for 6:00 a.m. anyway, so I might as well stay awake.

I wanted to write a quick note to the doctors, and nurses at Maine Medical Center.. NICU:

Over the last 125 days, you have seen us at our highs & lows.  Many of you have gotten to know us personally.. and we have had many a laughs, and you have seen ME (specifically) cry quite a few times.  Today, I cry with tears of joy, but also some sadness.  Maine will ALWAYS have a special part in my heart & in our family.  I promise to send pictures & keep you all updated.  And we will be back for NICU reunions & even just for long weekend stays & be sure to visit. (although Gary might not think so!)

Please try to have "continuity" to your patients. There's nothing like leaving one day & coming back to something different in the morning.  Nurses, you have an important job.. you are the frontline to the baby's & the parents..if you don't like your job, or you are unhappy.. you are doing an unjustice to us & yourselves.. Get a JOB you enjoy!!

Too many to list personally, but that you to the NNP staff (Cindy, Ann & Dianne..)

the MD Staff:  Dr. Peter, Dr. McBee, Dr. Frehm, Dr. Vittorito, Dr.Vozzelli, Dr. Morrow :)

& Dr. Sobeil. 

All the nurses who have cared for Gracie over the last 125 days, Thank you!

Margo said a long time ago, "it takes a village"..

And all of you are the village truly where she comes from!!

Thank you for your gracious hands on her head, her belly (thanks Dr. Langer!), her legs (marisa & OT).. She is a miracle baby.. and although I wouldn't want anyone to go thru what we have.. We are stronger because of it!

Love,

Gracie! & her mom & dad..

Good-bye Maine! 4:36a.m.

Good morning.. a little early, but still from Portland, ME.

After 125 days, the next chapter will begin.. HOME!!  I haven't slept much (getting ready for that) tonight..I've been up almost every hour..maybe feelings of anxiousness to get her, readiness to bring her home & nervousness to have her home.  I'm feeling slightly emotional too!

I woke up at 4:14 (paladrome!) with this thought:

 Tears of joy & sadness may be shed

Today our daughter is going home at 6lbs. 12oz.

Enough said!

Chubby Cheeks!!

I was thinking that there were many nights here at the RmcD house that I cried & stayed awake thru the night praying.. "Please God let her be ok".

Tonight, I prayed:

 "Thank you God.. Thank you God.. for letting her be who she is to be so strong to come home with us finally.  Thank you for getting her strong so we can take her home, give us strength to get thru the days knowing we had our beloved son for at least four days."

We will always have Maxwell's memory in Maine, and in our hearts.  Maine will always hold special meaning.. and after all is said & done.. it's truly a story for Grace to know growing up.  She has been an amazing little girl already.. can you imagine what she is destined for?? She has been a fighter since the beginning.  As a mom, now, I'm sorry for 1/2 the stuff she has had to go thru..but look at her.. she has been gaining weight, eating by a bottle, and is doing incredibly well.  A true miracle.  A true blessing.

Special thanks to all of you who read my blog everyday!! I will continue to update it & post pictures.. as everyday there will be a new change, I am sure!!

Thanks to my email friends, whom I've never met.. Julie R. & Nichole T. .. they've been chatting with me since I was on bedrest, July 21st!!

Thanks to my friends in Fairhaven.. Heather & the family..who went grocery shopping for me yesterday, among many many other things..   Paula & Peter.. for cleaning for us, laundry & even cooking!!  Linda & Don, who unfort, have had the duty of mail intake weekly & garbage day!

For all the prayers we've received for both Grace & Max.

For Dalila that has always given me a shoulder to cry on.

For Theresa that has only always spoken the truth.

For my Mom & Dad.. who sometimes don't get enough credit.. Gary & I love you!

And for Grandpa & Grandma Noni in NY.. with cookies, k-cups & lots of pink onesies.. Thank you!!

I know there are so many others.. because we are truly blessed with friends & family.

My grade school buddy, Wendy.. Thank you!

My long lost walking buddy.. thanks for reading daily :).

We did it, because we HAD to.. but we love you because you didn't have to, but you did!

I'll post later with pictures of Gracie going home!!

Good-bye Maine!

love,

pattie & gary, Gracie & max

Final Days. 5:51pm

Hi! The last few days at home have been very hectic, fun, and tiresome!! We got alot done around the house, to get it organized..then had my shower last night & got overwhelmed all over again.  Thanks to everyone who came out & who was generous in their gift giving.  We got a video monitor, lots of clothes, lots of diapers, lot of gift certificates (which we've already used some).  We had good food, watched a slide of the babies.. from August 3rd til now.. Gracie has gotten dramatically bigger :) .. she looks soo different!  She is really starting to fill out!! So cute!!  We had good cake & my MIL sent some cookies & bars for dessert that were delicious.  I do have pictures..but I'll have to post them seperately.  But here is the centerpieces, done by my friend, Heather (& her daughters Abby & Mady).. they are such a wonderfully, creative family.

The centerpieces were pictures of Gracie in the middle of this flower, and in pots!!

 Sooo cute!

This is Gracie today.. on the right.. doesn't she look SOO big!! She is 124 days old,
& 6lbs. 11 oz.  She is doing soo GREAT!!

We got back to Maine this morning around 10:30.. and it was a little chaotic at first.. trying to get the formula instructions down for home feeds & just trying to work the feeding pump (seems that's taken most of the energy this afternoon).. but we're getting it. 

We also have her on the O2 monitor we'll take home.. doesn't beep as much as we thought it would.. that's a good thing!!  Tomorrow, someone will come & show us the g-tube care, and just in case it falls out..what to do.  And someone will come & instruct on the car seat & getting the base in the car.  So.. then, we'll be on our way HOME!

That's right.. Gracie is going HOME tomorrow!!!

Trust me we are excited & nervous..but I'm sad about saying good-bye to my friends up here.  My NICU family.. Here's me & Dianne (a NNP)

Dianne has been with Gracie since day 1.. she was the NNP that actually admitted Gracie.

So, she is very happy with Gracie's progress.. like we all are!!

We were able to say good bye to Cindy today too.. (another NNP), who has done ALOT of the paperwork (among others..) for our discharge.  Thank you, Cindy!!  Everyone has been really helpful, really!! Cathy B. was here today as well, she is the discharge planner.. just checking in.  Faythe, a Respiratory Therapist, also came in for a hug & a 'good-bye' to Gracie.  Gracie is so loved here...

Tonight, we will be back in here for the 11 o'clock feeding... just to make sure we understand the feeding machine for a continous feed.  Then it's off to try to sleep for 6 hours, til we have to be back in the morning.

She was in her Mamaroo again today.. we'll be buying one for her by the end of the week.. with some additional Gift Certificates we got for her.  She loves her mamaroo.

Well, the end is near.. we are getting excited!!

Hope to do dinner tonight with Josh & Kelley.. Will is getting ready to go home very soon too!!

Love,

pattie & gary, Gracie & max

Late night Post.. 10:56pm

I'm tired!  I can't even remembered what happen today.. I forget things when I'm home

oh, yea.. I had a breakfast, financial church meeting that went well..

then home to start working on the house.. oh boy! what a mess when you haven't been home in four months.  Our friends, Paula & Peter came by this afternoon to help move some furniture.. that is done.  Then we had a surprise party for Paula's 40th.  She was very suprised, it was very nice!

Grace is 6lbs. 7 oz today!! 122 days old. (4 mos tomorrow!!)

She is growing like a weed.  We got reports from the hospital today that a few nurses came by to 'snuggle' & give Gracie a 'hug'.. for it was the last day they were going to see her, as she gets ready to go home.

We miss her! She has soo many onesies.. crazy!  Paula helped me put her clothes and blankies in drawers.. we are slowly getting her room/nursery put together.

Tomorrow is a hair appointment, then going to look for a dresser & rocker recliner..

and a few more errands before my Baby Shower!!  Which, I'm really looking forward to. 

Heather has done soo much work for the shower & her creative mind is really a talent.  I can't wait to share pictures with all of you tomorrow.

I have got to go to BED!!

Happy 40th Paula!!

Love,

pattie & gary, Gracie & max

Happy December 1st! 7:34pm

Hi, all.. I'm soooo tired.  My mom came over this afternoon & we made a small dent in the house.. we have a lot of stuff to still put away & give away.. clutter, clutter.. just trying to make sense of it all. And I'm not a clutterer.. I would throw it all away if I could.  LOL

I had a rough start to the day.. just thinking about 'balance' & getting things done in the next 48 hours..to get back to our girlie girl & bring her home.  Thinking about leaving MMC.. and sad.  I know I'll be fine once Grace & I have a routine at home.. I'll miss all my friends & the family I have come to know in the last 120 days at Maine Medical..but I will have more to do once she's home.. I'm just sad, this transition is going to be tough!

Mom & Dad took out to dinner tonight..a celebration that Gracie is coming home.. It was very nice.. Thanks!!

When I got home last night, my friend, Lisa..letft this stuff for me in that purple "Princess" stocking.. at my door! Soo awesome.. a swaddle me, some hangers & burp cloths.. & a "little princess on board" sign.. soo nice!! I loved it.. Thanks, Lisa!! (& Tony, Ant & Belle).




Finding my Thumb..

Grace is 121 days old today! She is 6lbs. 4oz.

We checked in with her nurse this am, and she did her car seat angle test & did well.

We miss her!!! :)

Love,

pattie & gary, Gracie & Max